Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all it's sham drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

I Am What I Am

1. I can't go to bed without taking a cold shower even if its freezing cold
2. Can't sleep without my night cream
3. Can't sleep if I have someone with me in my room
4. I have to change my linen every night
5. I need three pillows when I sleep
6. I hate it when people bring their slippers & shoes inside my room
7. I am a certified OC
8. I paint when I'm emotional
9. I love antiques
10. Literature & World history are my favorite subject
11. I hate Math
12. I don't eat Japanese food
13. I don't know how to use chopsticks
14. I believe that signature clothes don't add up to one's personality
15. I love to eat Pinakbet with Crispy pata on the side
16. I am very very very choosy when it comes to making friends
17. I avoid people wearing perfume...they make me sneeze
18. I am immaculately neat
19. I criticize people
20. Watching people makes me laugh
21. I love nature & the countryside
22. I hate the sun & the sand but I love to hang around in Bora
23. Dull people make me laugh
24. Intelligent people make me intelligent too
25. I am beautiful...need I say more ?

Father's Day ...duh.

So the world is celebrating Father's day today, I do not want to sound negative but many years back I can't remember I ever did celebrate a Father's Day, I grew up with a strong bond with my Papa so I never need a special day to make me remember him, the memory stays in the heart not in the pages of the calendar... Everyday is a Father's Day or a Mother's Day or a Sister's Day or a Brother's Day or a Pet's Day. . . we remember all the people we love every waking hours of our lives and we make each day a special day for them.

We are heavily influenced by commercialism, thanks to Hallmark, the Gibson's card and to the chain of bookstores who bombarded us with their advertisements to make their cards sell and their cash registers ringing, including the restaurants who are also the beneficiaries of the commercialization and not to forget the florists too.

But on top of all this, I find the idea great ... at least.

What do we have next ; A Yaya's Day ? or we already have one.

Independence Day for the Independent Gay

I wonder how was it to be gay 100 years ago, Rizal with his brilliant mind never mentioned in his social cancer books or maybe, just maybe, gays during the Spanish era were all securely locked up inside their Narra closets for fear of facing the firing squads of the Guardia Civil in Bagumbayan.

History revealed that many revered men were gay; the great warrior who almost conquered half of the modern world was gay. two of the most celebrated philosophers said to be gay, one holiest of holies ascended the throne was a gay, a fiercest warrior, a great playwright, a Hollywood heartthrob, be-medaled athlete, from mythology to reality, and even the Bible has an un-told gay love story.... and I could go on and on with my enumeration that will make your jaws drop but I'd rather be mum about it out of respect for their persona.

The Bible has its opinions about gays but I dare not argue with it.

Since the beginning of time gays walked the face of the earth silently but surely to take their place under the sun.

Gays have long played their vital roles in all facets of society: In the military, religion, politics, sports and science and technology ... I need not mention Culture and the Arts; fashion, the entertainment business for the reason is obvious.

Gays are survivors, they have gone through the worst of time, similar to the holocaust when they were persecuted.

Thanks but no thanks to the characters of "Facifica Falafay" "Pepita Popongay" etc etc etc where they pictured gays as a caricature of a painted clowns, a joke and a screaming faggots.

Today gays walks through the portals and corridors of power and into whose hands lies the future of a nation.

Gays have evolved, from being called maricona in the 50's, binababae in the 60's, sioke in the 70's, badaf in the 80's, bading in the 90's and Sir, your Honor, Doctor, Mister, Boss in the year 2000, not flattery but out of respect for their brilliant minds, their achievements and great contributions in society.

Tell me, who amongst you has no close encounter with the third sex? Day in and day out gays are part of our everyday life... the fashion you wear, the words and expressions you uttered and even the simple move you do were gay influenced. Gay lingo can be heard from the exclusive enclaves and abodes of the high strung, snob nose of the society to the poorest of the poor down to the slums.

Gays have created their own world, their own environment and their own language, but stop and look and listen. The so called normal people of the society are their to invade what was made for their exclusivity. Example, in the gay bars. Who do you find occupies the front row seats and the earliest patrons? A serene and dignify office girls, a giggling college girls and a be-jeweled matrons who turned tickled pink when the music begins as the glistening Adonis parades and grinds in their birthday suits.

To the closet queens who suffers in darkness, come out and bask in the colors of the rainbows.

Gays are now liberated from the shackles and bondage of ignorance and hypocrisies of the people, they have proven their worth and earned the respect of the society.

Silently they will fill the void in our culture long intentionally ignored.

Gays don't conceive nor gives birth but they continue to multiply.

From the dawn of time, 'til the end of time, gays are here to stay ... promise.

Hyacinth House

At forty five, this lady stands proud and tall, she is one of the remaining few who are the testaments of the once glorious past. Her contemporaries may have undergone face lifts or major repairs or are all gone now or gave in to the fast changing and decay of time. Changes here and there, fashion comes and go, but this lady endured the test of time.

Forty five summers ago, this lady became the center of attention in a simple quiet neighborhood for she was the newest beauty to rise in the working middle class part of the city.

A young struggling couple in their mid-30’s commissioned a newly graduated architect to design and build them a house that can be a home to a family of eight children, the youngest was conceived here, so that made a family of nine.

In the summer of 1966, the family moved in to this newly constructed house, an architectural design of the period, the 60’s. Simple but impressive structure, the true reflection of the master and mistress of the house. A two level semi concrete abode with multicolored paint facade. A porch before the wide glass sliding main door and a terrace on the second level facing east, the owner believed this will bring abundance and good luck. Big glass windows all around makes the interior of the house sunny and bright. Shiny red tiled flooring dominates the first level, big spacious, high ceilinged living room adorned by two chandeliers exudes an air of elegance, and walls were doubled by narra wood paneling. In this threshold, the young mistresses of the house received their countless suitors. A dining room with a table that can sit ten persons, a kitchen that were forever kept immaculately clean. There were two toilets and baths for the comfort of a big family.

A wide winding staircase with a three foot altar of the "sacred heart" leads to the second floor where the family room serves as the library and study, family diplomas were on display here. Four rooms completed the second floor area of the house which is made of hard wood.

A covered garage that can accommodate three cars was always kept greaseless and floor shining bright. Behind the wrought iron gate was a garden painstakingly and lovingly tended by the mistress of the house. Her collections of varied colors of flowering bougainvilleas were planted by the fence. Soft scent of sampaguita fills the air on May summer nights. Some say you can tell the kind of people living in the house by the way they take care of their garden.

In those days all these were signs of opulence.

The family resources flourished, they had the taste of the easy life. Parties and reunions were hosted, people come and go. The mistress of the house was a gracious host.

The master of the house loved beautiful music, its beautiful sound revervirates in the entire house. Children’s laughter echoed through the walls; voices can be heard everywhere. The cacophony of sounds makes a beautiful music. This house was full of life; this house was full of love.



The children grew, and one by one they left the sanctuary and protection of the lady to build a family and home of their own. But no matter where fate brings them, it always leads them back to this old painted lady who played an important role in building their character.

The occupants of this house can go very far, but memories of the happy times will always haunt them, and keep them yearning to come back and feel the warmth and tender embrace of the lady. The master and her mistress and two of their children’s final journey passed by the lady for their last goodbye and gratitude for the memories they shared.

Seasons come and seasons go, slowly the lady can feel the passage of time. She grew old gracefully, her beauty outdated but still she has the poise and her classic elegance. She may not be the stately ancestral house, but she is so impressive and she can command respect. With all the love and care, this lady can take care of its builder’s next generation.

Today, she stands alone, lonely and for lone, surrounded by unfamiliar faces. She may be faded but never bitten, battered by time and elements but she weathered every storm. The silent witness to the ups and downs, to the laughter and tears of her ward. Gone are the children’s laughter, gone are the familiar voices, gone are the bougainvilleas in bloom, gone are the scent of sampaguitas in the evening, gone are the children’s light footsteps, the music is now silenced, and all she has now are faded memories she can hardly hold.

The old painted lady may have lost her grandeur, but still standing whispering softly in her loving motherly voice, "Here, I sheltered a happy home."

As the sun sets in the distant horizon and darkness slowly envelopes the night, the old painted lady will again wait for another sunrise at 17 Hyacinth Street.

Alms Alms Alms Alms

An eighty five year old woman; wrinkled and stooped by time regularly climbed the third level of the building with several stops and pauses to catch her breath to peddle her cheap food snacks to me and rest of the building occupants.

A couple of teenage boys; tall, lean and muscular presented to me papers from the Barangay and the Office of the Mayor allowing them to solicit for their team uniform for the basketball intra-murals in the city.

A hunky young man who I knew from the distant past sent me a text message in the usual shortened manner, politely asking me to loan him cash (write it on water) so he can facilitate the issuance of his passport.

A boy of eight years, neatly dressed in an oversize politician campaign shirt with his hair neatly gelled and parted on the side came to me and innocently asked to help him buy the notebooks he needed for the school opening. In a childish manner he specifically describe the type of notebook he wanted.

For the teenage boys I turned them down without batting an eyelash. With a raised eyebrow I told myself "if they can not afford to dressed up themselves, then don't play basketball or play with their underwear." It is as simple as that.

For the hunky young man, I didn't even bother replying to his text message and deleted his name from my friends list.

I know I should not be giving further comments since I ignored their request but i can not help but to give a piece of my mind.

I can not stand parasite people who depend on alms and dole outs to sustain their needs. Money is not easy to find... it's not like picking pebbles by the shore. By the sweat on my brows I earned my every centavo and it would be a big foolishness and a sin to squander the hard earned money to people stronger than a carabao.

I never fail to buy from the eighty five year old woman. People who knew me knows I am quite picky when it comes to food stuff being peddled ... no street foods for me, please. The old woman has a soft spot in my heart and patronizing her foods is the best and easiest way to help. Its been months now and I haven't seen the familiar bended figure who labored hard with her fragile bones climbing the stairs step by step to earn a few centavo. I miss her and her soulful gaze to express her gratitude.

After analyzing the chain of sad stories he told me, I gave my pledge to the eight year old boy for the note books he needed with his specifications on my mind. I can not afford to dose cold water to his burning desire to attend school.

Honestly, I am not a generous person ... but I am a happy giver.

June 2

Not so interesting day, I call this fruit salad day when everything is mixed up, no direction even my emotion I don't know if I'm happy or sad...just let the day passed with a blank face. Even the food I ate seemed to be boring much more the people who crossed my way were all such a bore. But I am not complaining, just wondering.

A kaleidoscope in black and white

Stumble & Fall

Of all the things I hated most is getting a scratch on my skin, any part of my skin for that matter. God knows how I take care of my skin ... Vanity. Today on my way to work I suffered a bad fall in the parking lot in front of our building. I tripped on the chain placed to prevent others from using the parking lot. I got bruised knees that it almost scrapped my epidermis. I casually got up, walked away and pretended it was not a bad fall after all but when I was alone along the corridor and no one could see me, all can do was a soundless scream of pain that I got misty eyed and limped my way up to the third floor. I could stand the pain, what worries me the most is the mark it will leave on my knees...

Lesson learned: don't walk with your nose up in the air.